just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
