You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
the day after is always just damage control
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
