You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
