now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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