Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
