It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
