My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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