So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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