you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
