Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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