If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
