I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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