Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
