His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
