Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
