I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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