....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
