her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
