You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
