Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
