Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
