Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I deserve this hangover.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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