I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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