two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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