...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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