I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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