so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
