We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
