I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
