some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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