Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
