do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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