We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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