How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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