I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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