I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
