Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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