i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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