8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
