that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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