Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
