just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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