ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
