apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Randomize
