Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
