Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
