Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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