update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
two words...techno handjob
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
