Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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