I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
