Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
