They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
