I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
