dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
