Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
