google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I wear drunk well.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
