just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
