um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
